Happiness
in couples is like a stealth emotion. It
 remains under-studied, invisible
or casually dismissed. We know a lot about tragic love, and we know a lot
about divorce, yet we’ve barely scratched the surface of happy relationships. Only recently is attention turning from problems in
relationships to what makes relationships work well.
This attention is long overdue. In the past 20 years, the number of people
describing
 themselves as “very happy” in their marriage has plunged,
according to the Rutgers University
National Marriage Project. Books in the 1990s by John Gottman and Judith
Wallerstein marked a shift from a focus on relationship breakdown to what
sustains relationships. |
In this vein, I started interviewing couples
in 1999 who described themselves as happy together. I ask what they do to
sustain this
 happiness, and how their relationship has transformed their
lives. I am writing a book based on the
experiences of 100 of these couples.
These
stories contradict many commonly held views about love—that it fades with
time, or withers with familiarity. My hope is that these stories can
inspire couples contemplating a union, and for couples in a painful place,
that it might recall a different kind of hi story and a road map for
return.
For more information:
(510) 433-7477
or
jim@jimsparksphd.com |
